Change

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Hi guys!

I'm so sorry I haven't blogged for such a long time, but I just wanted to enjoy my holiday and have the best summer ever (which I had!), but now I'm back. I was just enjoying one of my Sunday pamper nights and suddenly I got inspiration to write a blog post. Oh and I'm writing this on my new laptop, it feels good!

Change has never been a friend of mine. I just like to keep things the way they are, without too much fuss. Maybe that's why I always seem to cry on New year's eve, or why I had a mental breakdown after finishing the last episode of Gossip Girl, because now I had to find another tv series to watch. Change is scary, because it means that something new will come instead. In most cases, that 'new thing' is something you've never experienced before and I think that's where I go wrong. I like to be in control of everything, it's just a part of me. And since I can't control the big change that's coming in my life very soon, my anxiety has been awful lately.

Remember when I graduated from secondary school 3 months ago? Man, I can't believe how excited I was, because I didn't have to go back to my old school ever again. I would start a complete new life somewhere else, how cool! Now summer is almost over and that new life is starting soon. Actually, it's starting tomorrow. I wish I was as excited as 3 months ago, but unfortunately, I'm not. I'd rather go back to my old school where I spent 5 amazing years of my life with my best friends.

Obviously, that's not possible. Tomorrow morning at 9.30 AM, I will appear at my new school in my new clothes with my new backpack. I will make new friends and see new places. I will learn new things and make new memories. It seems like the scariest thing ever right now, but I'm sure I'll love it. Once I'm in control of my new life, I will enjoy it. I just have to have a little faith in myself.

Love, Elisa

I did it

Hi guys!

You may or may not believe it, but I did it.After 5 years of spending my time on subjects like geography, maths and history, I did it. After 5 years of 'relationships' with boys who hadn't even hit puberty yet, crying from laughter with my best friends in class  and making silly jokes about the teachers, I did it. I graduated from high school and I still can't believe it myself.

I finished my exams on May 29th and I was convinced that I failed. I felt like everything was so difficult, even though I revised A LOT. It sucked, because I have a great fear of failure and this didn't make things easier for me. I had already accepted the fact that I would have to stay in high school for one more year. I would make new friends, go on all the field trips again and cycle the same route every single day, again..

But then, a miracle happened. On June 11th, I got the phone call. I was incredibly nervous as you can imagine! We were all sitting around the telephone waiting for THE call. When I heard that my best friend Maaike had graduated, I started to cry and from then on, I cried several times. When the phone rang, I picked it up with trembling hands. Then, the unexpected happened. My teacher said that I had passed all my exams and that I had graduated. I started crying and it took me a while until I finally stopped haha! I finished another phase in my life and it feels so surreal.

Of course my parents then hurried to the shop and they got me cake, balloons and presents. Some family members and friends came over and it was one of the best days in my life. Luckily, almost all of my friends have graduated and I'm so proud of everyone! The whole week has been crazy and I feel so blessed.

High school hasn't always been easy for me but I'm definitely going to miss it. I'm so grateful for all the memories and friends I have now and I wouldn't know what to do without them. I'm going to nursery school after the summer and I'm so excited to do something that interests me. I'm also really excited for a new start. I can now blog and make videos without people judging me, because who cares at such a big school? I can finally be myself now and it feels soooo good!

To everyone who have graduated as well, congratulations, I'm so proud of you! 

Love, Elisa

PS. I hope this post explains why there wasn't a blog post on Wednesday. I hope you understand that everything was a bit hectic!